Orbis Rex puts 'em in their place

Throwing his weight around seems to be the concept behind Johnson's reshuffle

Poor Dominic Raab seemed to be holding the fort pretty well, apart from his episode of Cretanism, so of course he's been replaced by Liz "Pork Markets" Truss as foreign secretary. I'll never forget an eminent environmental columnist telling me, the day after he met her, that she was one knife short of a picnic set. But these are the characters Boris Rex wants in his circle. Easily manipulated.

Nadhim Zahawi's elevation is little surprise. The smooth salesman type, described as the widest of the wide boys in his time with the recruitment company SThree, has been shoved on screen to talk about things wholly unrelated to vaccines, because he's got the patter.

And what about Thérèse Coffey, the work and pensions secretary who didn't know that recouping £20 in universal credit was not a question of two hours' extra labour? She gets to stay. If she were a man, she would scream, "Look at my fucking red trousers!"

We're told, too, that Grant Shapps was hoping for a promotion. What for? Allowing people to carry on dying on "smart" motorways?

Still, at least Gav has gone to spend more time with his tarantula.